My Pity Party

Ugh! Apparently the surgery has worked a little because it's definitely messing with my hormones! I have felt like crying since I woke up this morning. First off, I tried sleeping in bed last night. It went great for about 3 hours. Then I got super stiff and hurting so I moved out to my recliner. I slept awesome until about 7am. Then I thought I would try bed again. I gave up at 10 when I felt like Frankenstein. So pretty crappy night and all the stiffness made me hurt pretty bad this morning.

So I took my pain meds (2 Percocet and 1 Valium) with my morning Pepsi. My husband is concerned that I'm going to run out of Percocet and the surgeon doesn't do refills and I don't see my family doctor until Friday. He's also a chemical dependency counselor so he worries about addiction. It's not like I take them all the time or even just every time I can. I only take them when I hurt.

Then there's the concern of money and going back to work. I just got a copy of my FMLA paperwork that has me off work for 6 weeks. I'm more of a go with the flow and God will provide. He's worried about me being off too long and getting too far behind. I'm thinking I'm only like 11 days post-op and don't even want to think about going back to work. Also, after the first 4 weeks, I get 65% of my pay through short term disability, so it would help.

I just feel so lazy and worthless today. I feel like maybe I shouldn't have had the surgery so we wouldn't have these struggles and worries. I feel like maybe it was selfish of me to want relief and putting my family on financial eggshells.

Sorry for the pity party.