24 Days Post Op

24 Days Post-Op (I don't know how many "days" I count):

I've been good today. It's really been a roller coaster that I wasn't expecting. Yesterday was awful. I just felt crappy. I slept a lot. I cried for really no reason. I didn't really hurt but I was just miserable. Today, I've been good, happy, making things, etc. and only hurting a little.

I fully expected the pain and stiffness. I knew that it would take time for me to regain my motions and things. I did not expect to be so tired. I didn't expect to have to sit down for half an hour after walking to the mailbox. I didn't expect to be exhausted from sewing a little. I didn't expect to be so stinking tired. I just got up and went to water the dogs (two dogs, indoors, food & water bowls about 20 feet away.) I feel like I walked to the neighbors and back.

I am very proud of myself for being dressed in real clothing for over 12 hours today... Okay, almost 12 hours, closer to 10-but I'm still proud! It's just sheer exhaustion! My incision is completely healed and the hair is covering the hair part. Mom made me a super cute winter headband that is extra wide in the back. Living in Ohio gets cold for about 6 months. Cold air blowing onto my incision site feels like icy air being blown down my spine. It's the weirdest thing to explain but it's even weirder to experience. So the extra wide head band keeps the air from hitting it.

I had a little bit of a headache yesterday. I'm guessing it's what a regular headache is supposed to feel like, but I don't remember how that feels. I haven't had a real headache since the surgery. I also haven't had the shooting stabs with the exception of once. But that is once in like 25 days! I still have the heartbeat in my ear and the shooting numbness when I walk hard or jolt. I have about 90% of my range back and feel pretty good.

I am hoping that the decompression and laminectomy will regulate my hormones and improve conception. It definitely seems to be messing with me! 

Anyways, the picture is actually from yesterday---it's a lot of work to get a good picture back there by yourself! 

Looking good; Feeling good

Some how the past few weeks have been missed. I have been pretty much in the house (I'm not able to take the dogs out, so I don't really go out unless I'm leaving!) It was so nice yesterday and I looked at the weather and it's never going to happen until spring again! Sadly winter has come. I realize it's the middle of November, but I am stuck at the middle of October.

I am feeling great, much better than I expected. I have pretty good range of motion and not in too much pain. The cold is weird on my incision. It almost feels like an open hole where cold air is blowing down into my spine. My mom said I'm nuts, but it's true! She crocheted me this really wide headband to cover my ears and incision so they don't get all blustery. I'm going to be alone tomorrow afternoon and most of next week. I'm hoping to do some crafting. I still really can't do much cleaning wise (except dusting and really, who does that!?)

There are so many birthdays coming up! My dad's 60^th, my 29^th, my nephew's first, my brother-in-law's 43^rd. The list keeps going. So far I think they're coordinated well. Mom and I watched “God's Not Dead” this morning and I want to buy it but will wait until the price drops a little. I'm not putting a price on God, but I don't want to pay $25 for a DVD now when it will be $15 in a few weeks. Loved the movie! It was very real-world and hopeful.

I'm feeling good and going for fasting lab work tomorrow for my cholesterol and routine labs. Hopefully get that out of the way, renew my driver's license and get my glasses adjusted. It seems where they folded skin to close the incision, it pulled my ears back just a smidge and now my glasses are jabbing the back of my ears. Whew, what a time! 

Exhaustion

It doesn't feel like a Tuesday night. In fact, I don't know what it feels like. My days are all a mess. The time change hasn't helped either. Over the weekend, I visited my home town and went to a craft show. I made about fifty bucks. I got my stitches out Friday, then we set up. We got up early Saturday to finish setting up. After it was over, we loaded up, went home, and napped. Sunday was church, nap, dinner, bed. Monday was sleep until eleven, visit with grandma, nap, ride home, bed. Today was out for lunch, shop for a few groceries and toiletries, nap, lay around, doze.

I have realized that as the pain subsides, the exhaustion won't be as quick to leave. I have about a two hour “outing” window before I am completely exhausted. Even when I'm not sleeping, I have very little energy. My appetite hasn't come back fully yet. I'm eating regularly, just about half the quantity of what I'm used to eating. I have a horrible dry mouth, most likely from the medications.

My incision is almost completely healed on the outside, which is great! It still feels funny to me and it probably will for a while. I've been trying hair styles other than “Pippie Long-stockings” as hubby calls my pigtail braids. I just can't do any kind of low pony tail because when sitting, it presses into the site. I can do higher ponytails but only for a while because it feels pulling. Pigtails is still the most comfortable! I'm going to have to get my glasses adjusted. I think it's bizarre, but apparently where they have had to fold the skin for the site, my ear is slightly further back so now the stem of my glasses are digging into my ear. Weird!!!

I finally slept in bed for the first time last night! Well, most of the night! I slept there from like eleven last night until like eight this morning before I got too stiff and went to the chair. A huge help has been an older heating pad that doesn't have a timer so that I can leave it on low all night long so I stay a little loose.

I am down to just one muscle relaxer morning and night. And only four Tramadol all day. I'm still taking a slew of stool softeners (I know, TMI) but it's a lot better than having to go, but having to push! I did sneeze once and I didn't hurt myself! I was worried about that!

I go back for my post-op appointment in two weeks from today! It feels like it has gone so quickly! I think that is a positive thing though. I am worried about getting back to work, but I've still got two weeks to think about that! :D I am excited about what this has done for me. I know I haven't discovered the extent of the relief yet, but I'm positive! I went for a walk down the road today and didn't get the headaches. I've stretched a couple times and paused after waiting for the sharpness, but it never came! I've jumped up quickly for the bathroom (see above) and didn't get the sharpness. I also haven't had a migraine in two weeks! YAY!

Have to keep myself slow and steady. Going to relax and enjoy it now... Or try! Naps as often as needed. 

Two Weeks Post Op

I am officially two weeks post-op. I am feeling better than I thought I would be two weeks out, but that also scares me too. I know that I am still healing and that things are still growing and repairing and I'm petrified I am going to feel good, overdo something, and tear or pull something!
I had a minor “overdo” this evening when I stood up/turned too quickly without realizing it. I got the stabbing pain in my forehead but instead of residing, it lingered and that scared me! Also I was (probably a little too) optimistic that I would never feel that pain again. So then I started panicking a little and my neck started hurting. I just freaked and though AH I have torn my dural patch and I'm going to leak out! Well, I took a hot shower, with my husband to help wash and massage my head to help me calm and relax (no frisky business!) That did wonders and I calmed down, took one of my pain pills and I felt fine. I relaxed in the recliner with a heating pad on my shoulders because they've been tense with trying to stretch and turn, etc. Lesson learned---slow down!
I am so thrilled to have my mom here with us. It's a beautiful mix of feeling like a kid again with your mommy here and your best friend moving in with you for a little while. We've not “done” a lot, but it's been great to just sit here and play word games and talk all the time. Luckily the hubs has his man-cave and football season to keep him out of the “hen-house.” It's the most time I have got to spend with my momma since I moved out at 18 for college!
We are planning on doing a craft show on Saturday with my dad helping us set up because I'm not exactly great at lifting or moving (4 pounds is really not much!) I've made some cute twine stars, mason jar lumineers, and hand-painted signs. Mom has some signs, jewelry, and wreaths. I'm going to be spending the weekend there after stopping to get the stitches out and hopefully have my PCP refill or give me new meds. I'm not a huge fan of the Percocet. I just don't like the addictiveness of it as well as having it in our house at all! I feel like Tramadol works just as well for me and it's less scary in my opinion. The Valium works well as a muscle relaxer, but I'm not picky with that, as long as it's something to relax the muscles (I'd be okay with Icy-Hot if it weren't for the giant open wound!)
I just have to keep reminding myself---two weeks ago, someone was tickling your brain! Slow down! I also really enjoyed reading the term “zipper-head!”That made me giggle!

My Posterior Fossa Decompression and Laminectomy

Day 13 Post-Op: Finally Getting to Post About Surgery---

I am sad that it's taken me so long to actually post about the surgery, but it's gone by so fast. I had my surgery on 10/24/2014. It was done at OSU Wexner Medical Center. I arrived at 10am for admitting. I was given a gown, gave a urine sample, and relaxed in a bed. I was taken down to pre-op at precisely 11:30am. I was given an IV in my left hand, but nothing was hooked up. I waited about 15 minutes in this bay of several others waiting for surgery. My surgeon came in and told me that they had an emergency surgery that required some of his staff. He reported that the OR was ready and he was ready, but didn't have enough support staff. So they sent me back up to admission where I got to hang out with my family for a while longer and visit... Hungrily, because I had been fasting since midnight the night before. It actually went quickly so it wasn't that bad. I was taken back to pre-op at 2:10pm. I was given another IV in my right hand. I then waited until 4pm when they came to get me. The anesthesiologist actually wheeled me into the OR. They went through several checks, waited for the surgeon's student to arrive, then went through everything. They gave me the oxygen mask and the anesthesiologist told me three jokes: Where does a one legged waitress work? iHop. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. And how does an anesthesiologist wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face. HAHA. I laughed then was out cold.

I woke in a recovery room with lots of yellow curtains and beeping. There was a nurse standing next to me and smiled while asking, can I get you anything? I replied “I want that ice they said I could have afterward.” She chuckled and said she would get it for me. She spoon fed me a few pieces of ice and asked me all the “where are you” questions to assess my awareness. I am pretty sure I got them all right. Although she kind of laughed when I answered “why are you here” with for surgery. I mean, it's the truth. Anyways, I was then taken to imaging where I "scooted" to the table for a CAT scan. I only vaguely remember this. Then I was taken to a room on the floor. I have no idea the time that passed.

My family stated that the surgery lasted about 4 hours. I was in recovery for a little over an hour (felt like 5 minutes!) They brought me in the room and my family gathered around and what felt like awkwardly looked at me. While under, they started IV fluids in one IV and had continuous monitoring of my blood pressure in the other one. They inserted a catheter, flipped me on my stomach, held my head in place with pins and went to work.

I actually had to have a laminectomy to remove a part of my C1 vertebrae as well due to the limited space and CSF flow. My first night, I slept well. They kept me well medicated and relaxed but on a clear liquid diet (not thrilled after 36 hours of fasting.) I woke to a breakfast of cold eggs, rubbery hashbrown, and a giant blueberry muffin. My hubby came to hang out as did two of my awesome cousins. My nurse was awesome. She actually sat and combed my massive tangled hair and put it in braids for me. She got called away several times, but kept coming back to finish.

I think it was this night that a friend of mine whose mom is also in the hospital stopped in to say hi. I was pretty doped up and I think it was later in the evening so I'm not really sure! 

My neighbor on the other side of the curtain was a pain in the neck! I felt bad for her because she had rear-ended an empty school bus with her two grandchildren in the car. They were in the back with seat belts and fine. She was pretty banged up. But good grief, she was obnoxious. Every 15 minutes, she was pressing the call button which is loud and beeps in the whole room. She had nurses running in and out to reposition her and move this, get her that, etc.

I asked to be repositioned once but it was excruciating. I could roll and push up with my feet slowly and it didn't hurt. The food for most of the stay was pretty crappy. I only cried once while in there. It was the second night and my needy neighbor kept waking me up. At about 2am, I was hurting pretty bad and pressed the call button and the nurse said she'd be right in. I heard them go to needy nancy next door, but it felt like it was taking them forever to get to me. So when she finally came in with my meds, she felt awful and told me I should have yelled or just kept pushing that button.

The meds were great. I didn't need anything to calm before because I wasn't stressed or nervous or anything. After, the pain wasn't like stabbing, burning pain. It was more of a “slept wrong and got a stiff neck for the past 14 days and now you can't move.” Dilaudid was the most incredible medication for the stiffness.

So I was released on Sunday. They told me I was being released and 25 minutes later, we were wheeling out of there! The ride home was comfortable and I slept a majority of the way home and rested that day. They sent me a prescription of Percocet, Valium, Stool softeners, anti-nausea, and indigestion medications. Several naps every day and a little more movement everyday. I'm rarely taking the Percocet anymore. I take the Valium just in the morning and Tramadol occasionally during the day. I still have to sleep in the recliner because laying flat just isn't comfortable whatsoever. The incision is healing great and I go to have the stitches removed in 2 day! I can't wait because they are itching and pulling and I'm so scared I'm going to get my comb stuck in them.

Today is the first day I haven't napped so I'm pretty proud of that!

I came home on Sunday October 26^th. I got home around 3pm. My hubby went to the pharmacy and my mom and dad stayed with me. I got settled in my recliner. The week passed in a blur, things got better everyday. I tried going to church this past Sunday and only made it half way through-holding my head up for an hour straight was a struggle for me. Monday seemed to be a pretty depressed day. I just got to feeling gloomy and depressed. I was sad because no one had come to visit me at home (other than mom staying with me,) no friends or anything. Several people from church dropped dinners off. So I was sad that there were no visitors, no cards, no flowers, or anything. I had a pretty massive surgery. Since then I've gotten probably 10 cards in the mail, a bouquet of flowers from church, and balloons and an arrangement from my mom (cause she knew I was bummed!)

Today I have went all day with no nap and only 2 medication doses. I haven't had a migraine or headache since Thursday before my surgery. I also haven't smoked at all-I joke that it's been so easy due to the morphine in the hospital, pain meds at home, and the inability to drive due to the pain meds. But really the first three days were in the hospital and pretty out of it, so why start again. We are still hoping to start a family soon and I don't want to deal with that or have it interfere with my unborn child!

I go Friday the 7^th to have my stitches out by my family physician and I return to my neurosurgeon on November 25^th. I can't wait to see how it looks and feels by then!

The first picture is from the day I came home. The second photo is from yesterday, 8 days after returning home.

My Pity Party

Ugh! Apparently the surgery has worked a little because it's definitely messing with my hormones! I have felt like crying since I woke up this morning. First off, I tried sleeping in bed last night. It went great for about 3 hours. Then I got super stiff and hurting so I moved out to my recliner. I slept awesome until about 7am. Then I thought I would try bed again. I gave up at 10 when I felt like Frankenstein. So pretty crappy night and all the stiffness made me hurt pretty bad this morning.

So I took my pain meds (2 Percocet and 1 Valium) with my morning Pepsi. My husband is concerned that I'm going to run out of Percocet and the surgeon doesn't do refills and I don't see my family doctor until Friday. He's also a chemical dependency counselor so he worries about addiction. It's not like I take them all the time or even just every time I can. I only take them when I hurt.

Then there's the concern of money and going back to work. I just got a copy of my FMLA paperwork that has me off work for 6 weeks. I'm more of a go with the flow and God will provide. He's worried about me being off too long and getting too far behind. I'm thinking I'm only like 11 days post-op and don't even want to think about going back to work. Also, after the first 4 weeks, I get 65% of my pay through short term disability, so it would help.

I just feel so lazy and worthless today. I feel like maybe I shouldn't have had the surgery so we wouldn't have these struggles and worries. I feel like maybe it was selfish of me to want relief and putting my family on financial eggshells.

Sorry for the pity party. 

More Recaps

Holy cow, what a roller coaster! I'd like to start by saying that I have been so lucky and blessed in this venture. Once I found a NL, I was sent to a NS and scheduled for surgery then went in and out. So it's been pretty quick. Well now I'm post-op and it's a new experience for me. I've never had anything more than a cold to recover from. So it started with the hospital and sleeping great from some awesome meds. I had visitors Saturday-my two cousins came to visit with an awesome hospital necessity kit!! They brought real toilet paper, puffs tissues, some chocolate, word search books and pens, chapsticks, etc. It was great!! Then there was the hard part of managing the pain before it becomes unbearable. Figuring out what you can do (which isn't much.) Now my stitches are healing and oh my how they itch. I also have 3 little scabs around my scalp from the stabilizer... And I am totally a picker, but I'm doing great leaving my incision alone. My mom stayed with me for the first week. It was nice and I think hubby liked having someone to help and calm his nerves. She went home for the weekend. Hubs didn't sleep well last night because I was coughing a good bit and he was just worried being alone with me. I've slept most of the day and been rather depressed. It's been one week and one day since my surgery (which really is a big ordeal.) With the exception of my wonderful cousins at the hospital and a card from my grandma, I haven't had any visitors. I feel selfish and stupid for even being upset about it. I was just at least hoping to see some people to keep me busy or have some cards to lift my spirits... :( Hopefully a good nights sleep in the recliners will help. I'm also worried about running out of pain meds because tylenol and ibuprofen helps a little, but it still hurts. My discharge papers say that the surgeons don't refill pain meds and we have to see our family doctors. I couldn't get in to see mine for another week (to also remove the stitches.) I'm hoping they will last that long or she will call some in for me until I can see her. Of course the hubs is worried about me getting addicted, but he's a drug rehab counselor, so it's kind of cute. Today I was trying to wean down from 2 tabs every 10 hours to just one in the morning and one at night. I finally caved and took two this evening. The change in my pain level (6 to a 0) and mood were huge. Hubs said that I acted like I was high, but he was so happy I was laughing.

Anatomically speaking, everything is going great. My incision is healing great. I still can't sleep in bed, but I've figured out the recliner sleeping positions. The pain is usually bearable but the meds help 100%.

***TMI-Stop Reading if You Want!***

The only negative experience is that despite regular medications, extra powders, etc. I am hugely constipated! I haven't had a “movement” in 9 days. I finally opted for suppositories today and had a little bit of one but holy cow!! May have to call the doc about that one... Any suggestions? I've been on Dulcolax, Senna Lax, Mirilax, suppositories, so many vegetables and fruits! I'm still not nauseated or sick to my stomach, but I've eaten small meals three times a day for 9 days! I know there is stuff in there!!!!